1 month ago
58
It’s not really very nice to be one of those people who get up early, before the sun has even come up. And it’s especially not nice to be one of those early risers if you’ve got hours to sit in the dark, as I did today, contemplating the lack of electricity, water, gas (well, the bottle ran out) and indeed any kind of meaningful response from the City government or its utility enterprises.
In fact, I first woke around 2am. The inverter was making a repetitive high-pitched squeaking noise that meant “I’m depleted! I’m done! I’m all empty! The life has been sucked out of me!” Actually, that last cry might’ve been mine, but I simply commended the inverter for its heroic provision of power for 28 hours – and switched it off.
My phone was as dead as the inverter, and so was my laptop, so I had nothing to distract me as I wondered if and when the power might return. And if and when the water might return, because it had failed (again) the night before, in an on/off cycle that has become the new normal of Upper Melville.
Just as well I didn’t have a working phone, really, because I’d probably have gone straight to the WhatsApp group of the hard-pressed DA councillor to see if there was any news on the electricity – and been outraged by City Power’s inability to fix such things and the entity’s capacity for yet more mealy mouthed but self-contradictory statements.
Finding refuge
Later, once I’d found refuge somewhere with electricity and charged my phone, I checked the WhatsApp group.
The first message from yesterday says: “The power interruption is due to (they mean “the result of”) a first port fault on a mini-substation (MSS), affecting power supply to customers in Melville. Our team will now proceed with sourcing the relevant material to commence with repairs.”
Don’t you love the serene confidence of that last sentence, especially the “proceed” and the “commence”? Okay, that last “with” is supererogatory, but let’s not condemn City Power for excessive use of unnecessary prepositions.
The message, unfortunately, continues: “The estimated time for restoration (ETR) is currently unavailable.”
Dig those carefully placed abbreviations! It’s rather touching, really, that they have one for “estimated time for (of?) restoration”.
The follow-up message, in the late afternoon yesterday, seemed to provide a different diagnosis of the problem, as paraphrased by the councillor: “The issue is that there is a cable fault. They have found the fault and are busy exposing the area to do repairs. Materials are on site with the contractor.”
Okay, that’s understandable. We didn’t get the “first port fault” thing in the earlier message. But wait! There’s more! By evening time yesterday, the issue had mutated again:
“A mini-substation at the Hursthill Substation burnt, affecting customers in Melville and surrounding areas. The team is currently on site, working on grouping the cables.”
Right… “grouping the cables”? That doesn’t sound like it would be too complicated, or would take too long to do, does it?
Well, yes, except they might as well have said they were “tossing the caber”, or in fact just tossing off, because the next message from the councillor showed a photo and said: “This is the MSS that burnt. It’s not at Hursthill substation. It’s by Macdonalds…”
Confusing update
You’d have thought that if the burnt substation was disabling McDonald’s they’d get a move on to fix it. Only KFC, surely, could elicit a more urgent response. But, sadly, the best we got, as we sat in darkness this morning, was another confusing update:
“Hursthill Substation: Currently experiencing an outage that is affecting customers in Melville and the surrounding areas. A contractor is on-site and working on digging to expose the cables.”
What? You’re only digging now? I thought the digging was done and you were “grouping”?
Never mind… “We will continue to provide updates to the affected customers as we receive new information.”
We wait with bated breath. New information? How refreshing.
Anyway, as I say, I’m glad I could only read these messages later, once I’d eaten, at least. Or I might’ve got a bit annoyed.
As it was, all I could do was sit in the dark thinking about how I’d get the gate open if there was no power and the battery had run down, as it would surely have done. And what I’d write in my column for DM168, if in fact I ever got out and found my way to an oasis of electricity.
Hilarious story
Perhaps that hilarious story about how the ANC ministers are complaining that they are being shown up as incompetent by the new DA ministers and even Gayton McKenzie? I’d have to look that up to make sure I’ve got it right. Someone from the government communication and information system (GCIS) said they were short-staffed, and couldn’t afford sufficient numbers of spin doctors and liars to make the ANC ministers look good. (Government has no money! I think the correct response is “ROFL”.) They didn’t note that those DA and PA ministers weren’t using GCIS to bruit their big plans and forcefully forward-looking innovations. They just got online, or called a press conference. Naturally that’s not something an ANC minister could do, GCIS or not…
And wasn’t there something from that ridiculous mayor of Johannesburg, saying he was ready to resign at once if the ANC told him to? He’s not, repeat not, a sock puppet, by the way.
What about the premier of Gauteng, Glorious Brother Leader Panyaza Lesufi, being unable to form a coalition at provincial level? Meaning that, really, he’s less competent than Fikile Mbalula… What’s happening with that? We don’t seem to have had any news on that coalition since early last month. Again, I’d have to check, and for that I need a bit of power. Just a little bit. Not as much power as Panyaza. Just a smidgeon…
And then I heard the trickle of water returning to the toilet cistern. Oh joy! I can flush! I haven’t been so thrilled since the ANC lost its majority. DM
Shaun de Waal is a writer and editor.
This story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R35.
